Why self-awareness for mothers matters during pregnancy and postpartum

Self-awareness is a critical skill that empowers mothers to understand their needs, manage stress, and foster a deeper connection with themselves, their babies and their family. However, in today's fast-paced world, where distractions are constant, self-awareness is challenging. This article defines and explores the importance of self-awareness for mothers and what “Self” can mean. It highlights its role in self-advocacy and navigating identity shifts. We discuss ways to develop self-awareness for well-being during this transformative period for a mother and their family.  

What is self-awareness?

Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge/awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. It's about tuning into your body’s signals and messages, understanding your range of emotions, and recognising how external factors may impact your well-being.  Developing your self-awareness fosters presence in the here and now of living.  It can help you understand how your past has shaped you today.  It also helps pave the way to feeling safer and knowing what matters to you in taking action forward. During pregnancy and postpartum, self-awareness helps you respond to your needs, manage stress, and foster a deeper connection with your baby and your growing family.  

Self-awareness and its role in advocating for you and your baby

For the mother, during pregnancy and postpartum, your body is going through significant changes. Listening to its signals and messages provides you with knowledge and understanding enabling you to better advocate for yourself and your baby. Self-awareness helps parents to trust their intuition, care for their needs, reach out for support, or get a second opinion (such as asking for evidence to make an informed decision). It’s your guide to feeling safer and empowered.

Self-awareness helps you recognise when your concerns are valid, empowering you to take charge of you and your baby’s health. Your connection with your baby is deeply intuitive. As you become more self-aware, you may find that you are more attuned to your baby’s needs and signals. Whether it’s during pregnancy or after birth, this heightened awareness allows you to advocate for your baby’s well-being and supports your emotional regulation as well as your baby’s, thus promoting a calm, healthy environment. Self-awareness advocation may encourage openness to make better decisions about your birth plan, choosing feeding options, or ensuring your baby receives appropriate medical care. Your self-awareness strengthens your ability to protect and nurture your child and your self. 

Self-Awareness and Navigating Self-identity in Pregnancy and Postpartum

Embracing New Roles

As you step into the role of a mother, it’s natural to feel a shift in your identity. You might find yourself reevaluating your values, beliefs, desires, relationship dynamics, and how you see yourself. Self-awareness helps you process these changes, enabling you to integrate your new role with your existing sense of self. But what is your “Self”?  

What is the “Self”

In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the True Self is understood as the core essence of a person, characterized by qualities that promote inner harmony and well-being. The True Self is defined by the "8 C's": Calmness, Curiosity, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, and Connectedness. These qualities emerge when an individual is in a state of self-awareness and is not overwhelmed by the various parts or "subpersonalities" within them, such as their fears, anxieties, or inner critics. When connected to the True Self, a person can navigate life with a sense of balance, approach challenges with understanding and empathy, and maintain a grounded sense of who they are, regardless of external circumstances. Your developing self-awareness allows for authentic decision-making and a deeper alignment with one's values and purpose to embrace this new identity.  

Navigating the Loss of the Old Self

The transition to motherhood can also bring a sense of loss of your pre-pregnancy identity. This can be a challenging and confronting time, but self-awareness allows you to acknowledge these feelings without judgment. By honoring the person you were before becoming a mother and recognising the growth that comes with this new chapter, you can find balance, and evolution, between your old and new selves. 

Redefining Your Sense of Self

As you navigate the postpartum period, your identity may continue to evolve. Self-awareness helps you stay attuned to these changes, allowing you to redefine who you are in a way that feels authentic. This might involve exploring new interests, new values, setting boundaries, or prioritising self-care and connection with others. Challenges that new mothers face in redefining their sense of self can be impacted strongly by: the birth experience; family and societal expectations; social media; the way they were parented, and whether it instills confidence or fears; hidden parts of oneself now revealed that feel pain, judgment and critisism. This will also impact the dance of redefining your sense of self in relationship with your partner or significant others.  By cultivating self-awareness you can adapt better to new roles, identities, parenting styles, responsibilities and behaviours. Being more adaptable can result in reduced conflict, isolation and disconnection. Adaptability allows for love, connection and stronger inner confidence to flourish.  

How to promote self-awareness and connection to your body and baby

Grounding Practices

Grounding is a powerful way to bring yourself back to the present moment, especially when anxiety or stress starts to overwhelm you. Simple techniques like walking barefoot on grass, holding a comforting object, or visualizing roots growing from your feet into the earth can help anchor you. These practices remind your body that it is safe, supported, and connected to the world around you. Furthermore, it helps you to be present in the moment, which can be called mindfulness.  

Mindfulness Practices

Mindfulness involves paying attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice can be especially beneficial during pregnancy and postpartum, as it encourages you to be present with your experience here and now, rather than being overwhelmed by past pain  or future anxieties. Try setting aside a few minutes each day to practice. There are many ways to practice, such as meditation, focusing on your breath, mindfully eating or bathing. These moments of stillness allow you to check in with yourself and nurture a sense of calm. Mindfulness can also be shared with your partner, family and friends through a lingering smile, hug or gaze. When we slow down and notice connection with others mindfully, our nervous system can be mutually calmed.  

Breathing Exercises

Breathing deeply and intentionally is one of the simplest ways to regulate your nervous system. Techniques like diaphragmatic breathing, where you inhale deeply into your belly and exhale slowly, can help calm your mind and body. Practice this whenever you feel overwhelmed or need a moment of peace. Consistent breathing exercises can reduce stress, enhance relaxation, and improve your overall sense of safety and psychological flexibility.  

Reiki

Reiki, a form of energy healing, can enhance self-awareness by helping you connect with your body. The relaxation and balance promoted through Reiki encourages you to tune into your inner state, becoming more aware of any physical or emotional blockages. Over time, regular Reiki sessions can deepen your understanding of your body’s signals, helping you to respond to your needs with greater sensitivity and insight. This heightened awareness not only supports your emotional and physical well-being but also strengthens your connection to your baby, fostering a sense of harmony and peace during pregnancy and postpartum.

The physiological impacts of histamine intolerance on self-awareness

One physiological change that occurs during pregnancy and postpartum is the changes in histamine which can result in Histamine intolerance. Histamine Intolerance can significantly impact your mood and mental clarity, often leading to symptoms like anxiety, irritability, and brain fog. These symptoms can make it difficult to stay in tune with your body and emotions, potentially disrupting your sense of self-awareness and connection to self. You might find it harder to articulate your needs or stand firm in your decisions when you have histamine intolerance. This makes managing histamine levels even more crucial, as reducing these symptoms can help you maintain clarity and assertiveness when advocating for yourself and your baby. 

Summary

Self-awareness enables a person to observe how the different parts of themselves influence their well-being as a whole. We can attune to our thoughts, feelings and behaviours without being hung up on them, creating choice and agency to decide what is best in any given moment.  The initial reaction to external stressors, past, present and future, can be slowed down and considered. As an evolving self is emerging your values can guide your choices towards what feels safer, more meaningful and joyful for you and your family.  

Written in collaboration with Erika Munton, Birthready Lifeready - doula, psychotherapist and perinatal educator.